Love without Fanfare

By Lucy B.  –  Missionary in Peru

Walter and Ricardo are dear friends of ours. Walter lives in his workshop where he fixes broken machinery. His home is brimming with old washing machines, wheels, welding equipment, and every bolt and screw you can imagine. But hidden inside this clutter is a precious gem, Ricardo. Walter took Ricardo into his home after he had a life-altering stroke 10 years ago. Since then, Ricardo has been bed-ridden. You would think that Walter and Ricardo are brothers, or at least cousins, based on how attentively Walter cares for Ricardo. But no. These two men are simply childhood friends, one who took in the other in his great need. And not only did Walter offer Ricardo a place to stay, but true care: making him food three times a day, changing his diapers, giving him medicine, and keeping him company. Every time we visit Walter and Ricardo it is a great gift to witness their friendship.

Recently, we received a message from Walter that Ricardo had passed away. It came as a shock to all of us. We rearranged our plans to attend the wake the next day. We arrived at the wake earlier than most and we prayed for a while before Ricardo’s open casket. Since my time here, there have been some removed friends that have passed. But Ricardo was the first friend that I witnessed in his casket after many precious moments spent together.

In the early days after Ricardo’s death, we went to spend time with Walter and see how he was doing. Like always, Walter offered us something to eat. Sitting at a foldable wooden table in the midst of the clutter of his home, I saw what it means to truly love. Walter had dedicated his life to his friend, and in his absence, there was suffering, but there was immense love. Walter recounted to us his memories of Ricardo. His most treasured memories being when Ricardo would ask for a hug from his bed-ridden state.

But the memory that impacted me the most is this: without fanfare Walter shared with us that when his own father was on his death bed two years ago, he wasn’t able to say goodbye. All because he couldn’t abandon his responsibility to tend Ricardo to travel to another city where his father had lived. Walter sacrificed a last moment with his own father to lay his life down for his friend. And this is love: free and total giving of oneself for another, without calculating the loss or pain it might cause. To me, Walter is the embodiment of the Con-solatio mission: to be a ministry of presence.